Harley Quinn (2013)

"Harley is set to begin her new life, but she needs a job first! Enter the Coney Island Roller Derby! It's game time as Harley sets out to destroy her competition - literally!"

"Harley and The Joker make it legal at last! Follow the happy couple to their secret honeymoon spot, where it's literally till death do they part!"

"Harley and guest star Poison Ivy set out to rescue a bunch of cute puppies and kitties! What could possibly go wrong?"

"Harley Quinn here, still narrating my solicit text! My war of wellness with Hugo Strange kicks into high gear this issue, and things are gonna get ugly. Hugo is about to send his right-hand man-child Lockwood, Arkham Asylum’s most sadistic guard, after Kevin and me at our first support group meeting. Folks, some things in this world are sacred, and I am not gonna stand for this. Hugo Strange never picked a fight with someone like me before, and he’s not going to like the results. Buy this issue, and pick up our gorgeous variant cover—it’s a real gem!"

"Meet Harley's new neighbors, and shudder at the horrifying realization that they are so twisted they make her seem like the normal one on the block!"

Did I miss something, or is there another new creep in a funny costume tryin’ to take over Gotham? Villains in this city are like that multiheaded hydra monster: blow a few up in Arkham Asylum, and 50 more pop up in ridiculous costumes thinkin’ they’re worthy of one of those fancy character variant covers. And here I thought bustin’ outta Hugo Strange’s new headquarters and savin’ the clowns was gonna be my biggest problem today.

"Harley makes a new friend - and he happens to be a murderous cyborg who's on a rampage in search of retribution! Fun!"

Heya, folks, Harley Quinn here! In case you all haven’t noticed…things have been a little wild lately. Hugo Strange, out-of-control orderlies, kidnapped clowns, and a new villain named Keepsake…it’s a lot for any one former villain turned antihero turned real hero with impeccable fashion sense to handle. I’m talkin’ about ME if that wasn’t clear. With all the Fear State happening in Gotham, I thought it would be a good time to go on a little camping trip. But, turns out, Gotham is gonna be Gotham…Keepsake’s forming a new army, Hugo’s playin’ dress-up, and the city is literally tearing itself apart. This looks like a job for Harley Quinn, Kevin, and...the Gardener? Oh yeah, Bella’s in this one, too! I just love her little plant dogs!

"It all comes down to this: Harley finally tracks down some of the mysterious hired killers who have vexed her since the start of the series! But what's she going to do with them? Enter the Scatapult!"

"Shipping twice in August! When Harley fills in as a burlesque dancer, she kills it on the main stage - literally! But what happens when she gets caught by the cops and finds herself face to face with her most devoted stalker?!"

"The first rule of Skate Club is you do not mess with the Mistress of Mayhem! Harley stumbles across an underground fight club where big money winds with a body count. She's in and she's making Sy Borgman her agent for the fights. But what happens when love gets in the way?"

A train leaves for Gotham at eight p.m. averaging 80 miles per hour, carrying one very dramatic villain named Keepsake, a bomb strapped to the engine, and me…Harley Quinn! One track leads straight to Gotham Central Station, where hundreds of lives are at risk, but the other track…that one leads to my best friend and sidekick, Kevin. Sacrifice the one to save the many? I hate that Philosophy 101 crap, and I’m really starting to hate trains.

"Harley's over the moon about teaming up with the all-powerful Power Girl but it won't take X-ray vision for Power Girl to see that something's not right with her new best bud!"

"Harley Quinn and Power Girl! The team-up that no one said could last ends with spectacular violence!"

I’m innocent, I tell ya! I might currently be stuck in Blackgate Penitentiary for multiple homicides thanks to a growing body of evidence that points right to me, Harley Quinn, as the murderer…but for once it was not Harley Quinn in the alley with the baseball bat. Someone’s obviously tryin’ to frame me, and I gotta figure out who and why if I wanna clear my name before I end up spendin’ the rest of my days behind bars with a buncha ladies who really don’t seem thrilled that I’m here. Not to mention I look terrible in orange…

"Harley was certain she could have it all: She could be the world's best landlord, protect Coney Island from the scum of the Earth, woo Mason Macabre, work her day job as a psychiatrist, volunteer at the puppy shelter but that's a whole lot of spinning plates, and eventually they're bound to start breaking! What happens when a psychopath cracks up? Is it possible for Harley to go even more insane?!"

"Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not a...whattaya call it? An imaginary story! This is where everything changes for Harley Quinn for more than forever! Introducing The Gang of Harleys!"

"They're here - the Gang of Harleys has arrived! Because the world demanded more Harley Quinn, Harley has answered the call - will a dozen more Harleys do the trick? Meet Carli Quinn, Harley Queen, HanukQuinn, and many, many, MANY more in a story that will have your sides splitting! "

"The Gang of Harleys rocks on with a super fun appearance by Captain Strong! Yes, that is a real character, we promise! "

"Harley's finding out just how hard it is to be the boss! She's finally ready to put her love life first-if only the Gang of Harleys would let her have a moment's rest!"

I went to the moon to eat cheese and fight aliens…and I’m all outta cheese. Actually, there wasn’t any cheese. I think that’s a myth…but aliens, hooo boy, do we have aliens! Horace Reginald Giger would be proud! What? No…I’m positive that’s what H.R. stands for. Anyway, this alien-monster-thing might not get a chance to devour Task Force XX, because we’re probably gonna kill each other first. What’d you expect, sendin’ a buncha angry villains to space without any cheese? I warned ya! The Harley Quinn and Task Force XX space event you’ve always needed continues here. Cheese not included.

Nuke it from orbit…is what we shoulda done to this whole entire moon. Who needs a moon anyway? I blame Luke Fox for sending a team of villains into space to fight a horrific alien monster in the first place. Obviously, that was just never going to work out well. Has Luke ever seen a sci-fi movie? And now you’re expectin’ me to save Earth with just my super-awesome-mallet-ofalien-skull-crashing-madness™? Okay, you asked for it…

"The enemy of Harley Quinn's friend is her enemy-and enemies don't come much meaner than Sy Borgman's one-time lover, geriatric super-spy Zena Bendemova! Improbably enough, she survived getting impaled by a rhino, but she's really not taking that massive attack of horniness very well!"

"It's all-out action on two fronts as the Gang of Harleys must split up to tackle two missions at the same time! Zena Bendemova's vendetta against Harley has to be stopped before innocents are caught in the crossfire and they have to bust Mason Macabre out of prison before he gets killed! There's no way Harley will be ready for this shocking twist ending, though This issue features open-to-order variant covers by Bruce Timm that will be shipped in opaque polybags. "

"Harley's got an endangered friend to save, but there's just one problem: she's got to get through Arkham Asylum first! Unsurprisingly, Harley's not eager to set foot in the site of some of her darkest hours and she definitely isn't ready to face a certain someone who's laughing at the end of a dark hallway "

"At long last, it's Harley Quinn and The Joker, face-to-face! The life of Harley's new love, Mason Macabre, is in the Joker's hands but can he or Harley survive another round of The Joker's twisted mind games?"

"In the aftermath of her encounter with The Joker, Harley's head is spinning, and she wants nothing more than to get back to her normal life but she should know by now there's no such thing! A new era in Harley's life is beginning, and she has NO idea what's coming at her!"

This is it, folks...we have to drop the Multiversal counterbalance serum at the center of the photon disruption before the imminent collapse of the entire Multiverse...JUST KIDDING. But could you imagine if that was how this story ended? Noooo thanks. We're gonna save the world the ol-fashioned way—with a large undead zombie, 50-80 Harleys from other universes, Kevin, and POISON IVY!

"The improbable Red Tool is coming after Harley but is this a personal vendetta? And more important-what can she do to stop him when he seems to shrug off everything she throws in his path?"

"To be revealed after WonderCon."

Here I am in the midst of a veritable midlife extradimensional existential crisis of epic proportions, and if that's not bad enough...I got a giant, bloodthirsty, killer anthropo-whatsit rabbit man with a big ol' carrot-shaped axe to grind after me. Good thing I got my hyena spiritual advisors, Bud and Lou, to guide me on this fiendish foray into a frenzy of ferocious furballs. Plus: the introduction of my very own cosmic workout gear that is in no way an infringement on the Flash's intellectual property. Also, in this month's In-Continuity Dreams of Harley Quinn, we've cooked up a real doozy for ya! It's got swords, armor, fair maidens, and more side quests than you can shake your tuchus at!

Well, here I am trying to convince this talking rabbit not to kill...wait. What?! Ivy's home?! Aw crap--I gotta clean up the apartment and hide all the plants I ruined. Maybe I should hire a bunch of sexy apartment cleaners? Eh, Ivy would probably want to be here for that... Okay, it's up to you, Bud and Lou! Eat all the trash! Go, go, go, go, my babies! Plus, it's the anime event of the century as I dream about my life as the protagonist of a mecha story! Time ta get in the freakin' robot!

KNIGHT TERRORS FOLLOWS HARLEY INTO THE WAKING WORLD! Ahoy! I've returned from Knight Terrors fresh-faced and well rested--Oh jeez! Looks like my new friend/interdimensional monarch who's totally still threatening to murder my world at the drop of a hat Lady Quark is back, and she's bearing gifts pulled straight from the deep recesses of Knight Terrors! But I got a class to teach and finals to prepare them for! Looks like we're taking this show...on the road! Ahhh, thee children o' da night, what terrible music they make. Sam Maggs and Kelley Jones tell the true story of the time I got proposed to by a nasty old perv in a castle. Don't worry, me and Ives are gonna give 'im what for!

TINI HOWARD & SWEENEY BOO'S ACCLAIMED RUN CONTINUES, PLUS A SPECIAL HALLOWEEN STORY! Big ears, even bigger feet, big cartoon peepers. I'd know this dame anywhere. It was me and I was dead and a dang ol' bunny rabbit! Oh no, not again!!! As if moonlighting as a community college professor wasn't time-consuming enough, I decide to dip my pinkie toes into the metaphysical private investigation game...all while babysitting a literal princess! Good thing I am not at all stressed out by my life. PLUS: Get ready for a special Halloween story cooked up by my pals Gretchen Felker-Martin and Hayden Sherman that's sure to make your skin crawl so hard it tears itself right off yer body.

Cleanup on aisle Earth-0! As if playing detective fer my own murder ain't bad enough, now I'm also on janitorial and princess-babysitter duty?! I just can't seem ta catch a dang ol' break! Hopefully I can mop up some clues along the way and get to the bottom of who's been out fer my precious clown blood! Plus, my childhood best friends Grace Ellis and Steve Lieber recount the true story of th' time I got trapped inside of...a comic book!

Freshly washed but just as emotionally messy--I'm ready to finally solve THE CASE OF WHO THE #&$@ HAS BEEN SCREWING WITH ME!!! Now I've just got to round up a crew of butt-kickin' individuals to help me go kick some multidimensional space butt in time for me to come home to my beautiful Pammy! Plus, my first cousins twice removed Hannah Rose May and Leomacs tell the gut-bustin' story of how I traveled to a lost city of dinosaurs in search of a mysterious treasure! Snap that quip!

BEEP BORP. HARLEYTRON-666 REPORTING FOR DOODIE. Jus' kiddin', kittens! It's me, ya gorl, Harleen Eucalyptus Tree Quinzel, alive and kicking. Speaking of kicking, I'm fighting for my life over here against Brother Eye and his dang O.M.A.C.s! Maybe you could help a gal out and lend some muscle of your own? How about it? Oh yeah, also my estranged siblings Alexis Quasarano and Steve Beach are getting out their buttslayer greatswords and axes to tell the ab-rippling tale of HARLEY THE BARBARIAN.

Honka honka! That nogoodnik Brother Eye has soured my reputation across the whole dang multiverse and it's gonna take me, myself, and I to put things right. Join me, Tini, Sweeney, and a panoply of clown girl artist extraordinaires as we go across the clowniverse! If you don’t buy this comic then my lawyer P.P. Thompson is gonna sue you!!!! Plus: In 1999 two teenagers went into the woods with a video camera and my twin sister Erica Henderson came out of the woods with a comic book about me that’s got real four-quadrant appeal (I wanted ta make a pun usin' a word for butts instead of appeal but the lady who's forcing me to write these told me not to).

Rub the sleep outta yer eyebulbs, ya lazy berks! It's the start of a whole new arc of my book, and it's off to a bang! After dealing with multiversal shenanigans for so long, a girl has got to get back to her roots (by which I mean taking her nontalking hyenas on walkies, bagging up their poops, and then having a superbo birthday party with her girlfriend and best pals). It’s the start of a whole new arc! Plus-ola: You like cartoons? I'll give ya some dang goshed toonz! My disbarred personal trainers Brandt & Stein present the Troo Harleywood StoryTM of th' time I got embroiled in a battle of wills and wits with Gotham's foremost high-flyin' kite aficionado Kite-Man!

Hey, Puddin'! Meet the new and improved Harley Quinn SUPER-VILLAIN FOR HIRE. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU JABRONIS I'M BACK AND I'M BUSTIN' HEADS. Okay, just between you and me though, this is all part of a secret plan I got going to study some of Gotham's worst, up close and personally. Think of it as an anthropologic study and don't get your brain all flustered. Plus: Zip! Pow! Xoinko! Feast your eyes on my interstellar delights as yer girl takes a trip into outer space to hang with star babes and slay some serious outer space stinkers brought to you by my great-grousemother Erica Henderson!

Driving laws, etiquette, common sense? WHO NEEDS 'EM. Dat's right, you finks! I'm continuing my greatest higher education-motivated research assignment to date--being bad! And if that wasn't enough GETTING SCHOOLED for ya in one issue, my collegiate best friends for life forever and always, Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer, have joined forces to tell the true story of the time I dreamed I was sent back ta school! You'll be calling me Harley Dangerfield by the end of this one on account of all the respect yer gonna be giving me!

There ain't nothin' like villainy! The sweet sound'a bank alarms, the wind blow'n through yer hair in a stolen car, not ta mention the discounts ya get buying bang flags in bulk--but every now'n'again, the sweet candy of crime has one heck of a sugar crash! I've gone and got myself noticed by some cold-hearted types--here's ta hopin' I don't get ICED! But don't ya dare think that's all! We also got a tale of a nightmare that RUINED my sleep the day before I took my driver's license photo, as told by two real cool folks who did NOT like talkin' ta me at the DMV--Gretchen Felker-Martin and Dani!

Let's be honest; I ain't always the easiest ta get along with. Hey, don't agree so fast! You ain't exactly the bee's knees yerself! Okay, where was I--oh yeah, ON THE RUN! My scientific study on villainous villains has gone all KINDS of wrong, and I've made myself a whole lotta enemies in a real short time: Mistah Freeze! Robin! And worst of all, this new cop Pulaski, who's got a target aimed smack dab at my head. Don't shoot my head, Pulaski! I LOVE my head! And assumin' Pulaski doesn't shoot my lovely head, step inside it for a lovely story about the power of readin' books and why burnin' em is no good (TERRIBLY inefficient as a fuel source)--as brought to you by the librarians who keep kickin' me out of the video section--Joanne Starer and Marcial Toledano Vargas!

CAN HARLEY ICE OUT MR. FREEZE? OR WILL GOTHAM BE LEFT OUT IN THE COLD? Brrr! My buns are freezin' off! With the threat of Gotham City being buried under five hundred metric tons of ice, your ol' pal Harley Quinn (me!) has no choice but to face down against both the icecube lickingest bad dood to ever live, Mr. Freeze, and the devious Bat-family-hating Officer Pulaski! Can't a Clown Queen of Crime catch a break?! Alls I want to do is set things right before the citizens of Gotham are turned into icy-cles. Plus, I got one last dream to share with ya before these jabronis start pumping my brain with coffee 24/7 and it's A JUICY ONE! That's right, back by popular demand, MORE BEEFCAKE BARBARIAN QUEEN HARLEY by Alexis Quasarano and this time she's joined by da Fellspyre Chronicles' own Riccardo Federici!

NO MORE MS. NICE HARLEY - THE CLOWN QUEEN OF CRIME IS BACK! The big wigs here at DC want me to be a bit clearer in these snooze-licit texts so here goes nuttin'. Begin the prewritten statement! Ahem. When Harley Quinn discovers her favorite dangerous neighborhood in Gotham City, Throatcut Hill, has been gentrified beyond recognition, she breaks bad and sets out on a one clown-woman mission to make Gotham City safe for crime again! Wow! I couldn't have said it better myself, and luckily, I won't have to, thanks to the excellent work of my new creative team, Elliott Kalan (The Flop House, Mystery Science Theater 3000) and Mindy Lee (Bounty, Harley Quinn: Everybody Hates Side Quests).

ATTENTION RESIDENTS OF THROATCUTTER HILL! Art! Since the dawn of humanity, we have found emotional, spiritual, and even intellectual meaning through the visual arts. But sometimes...even art can suck real, real bad. Is a soulless and aesthetically meritless corporate statue ruining your view of a perfectly good park full of uncollected trash and dead rats? That's where I come in--Hello, I'm Harley Quinn. Recently, I launched my latest business venture, the Harley Quinn Destructive Agency. My goal is simple: if there's something you need blown up, if you need somebody clobbered, if there's anything I can do to make Throatcutter Hill a more dangerous place again--I'll do it. My rates are reasonable! And for an introductory price of $3.99 you can witness me beat the crud out of a corpo superhero! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll slap your thigh! So what are you waiting for? Call your local comics store, and be sure to order a copy of Harley Quinn #45 today!

BEEP BEEP! OUTTA THE WAY! HARLEY'S DRIVIN' HERE! Laddies and Gentlegirls, are your engines burning for violence, malfeasance, and mayhammery? Look no further than this issue of Harley Quinn (available for preorder right now)! I, Imperator Harleyiosa, acting as the agent of the Council of Aggrieved Local Retailers of Throatcutter Hill, have placed an embargo on all internet purchases in our disgusting little corner of Gotham City henceforth. No more will convenient internet retailers flood our streets with their express-mail trucks and fill our recycling bins with empty cardboard boxes! Embargoed! Watch out, 'cause I got some serious road rage I can't wait to unleash! Set wheel in here, and I'm gonna blow up your truck!

WHEN THE MUD HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A GREAT EARTHEN PIE, THAT'S A-CLAYFACE! Clayface is having a (dinner) party, and everybody's invited...as long as their name is Clayface! We've got all the Clayfaces in here--Basil, Matt, Sondra, Preston, Cassius, Spanky, Alfalfa, Stymie, even Clownface (remember Clownface?)! My latest Destruction Agency case brings me face-to-face with Clayface as I crash and burn the ultimate muck-filled family reunion harder than Aunt Ethel's overcooked brisket at last year's Passover seder! Oh yeah, and somebody's gonna die in this one.

OINK OINK! PUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE TROTTERS TOGETHER FOR PROFESSOR PYG! Somebody ruined my perfect date night!!!! Professor Pyg here, Gotham City's most sensual and available bachelor. I regret to inform you that my one true love, Harley Quinn, has left my heart spurned and abused. Well, I simply can't have that, so I'm going to do what any maladjusted individual would do and throw a fit in the swamp! Try having a nice time with Poison Ivy now! In fact, you know what? Get lost, Poison Ivy! Harley Quinn's got a new hubby, and he has a perfect piggy nose!!!!! Let’s get sick together!!!!!!!

HARLEY HANGS WITH AMYGDALA! This issue is chock-full of my pal Amygdala, so I've asked him to tell you about it in his own words: Rich lady tell Amygdala hit clown lady. Amygdala hit clown lady. Clown lady hit Amygdala on head but he not feel owie. Amygdala hit back. Bad dogs bite Amygdala too but no feel owie. Everyone fight. You buy?

GET READY TO MEET THE GUNBUDDIES! Bang bang bang! Introducing the soon-to-be DC Comics sensation--the Gunbuddies! They love each other almost as much as they love guns! Take it from me, everybody wants a piece of Harley Quinn--including my own brain! Can the Clown Queen of Crime (me) dodge assassination attempts, navigate the responsibilities of being part of a neighborhood party planning committee, and come to terms with my own super-superego all in time to not have a surprise aneurism all over the floor of my favorite bodega?

CLOWN VERSUS BRAIN VERSUS GUNBUDDIES! Long has humanity wondered who would win in a battle between impulsive clown, giant sentient brain, and two gun-loving best buddies. Look no further! As of May 2025, the results are in! So, uhhh, order this comic now if you want to see who wins. It's time to go on safari!!!!! Also: some real racy stuff happens! Bring your fire-resistant jumpers, 'cause it's about to get hot!

PERIL PROLIFERATES AS PORTABLE PHONE POWER PARAPHERNALIA PROPOSES POTENTIAL PERIL AT THE PORCH OF MRS. GRIMALDI! When that crappy but kinda hot Althea Klang attempts to drive me and Mrs. Grimaldi out of our minds by installing a phone charging station (a.k.a. a hipster loiterer magnet) right outside of our home, we take things straight to court! But as we try to plead our very endearing and straightforward case, we're derailed by an avalanche of differing opinions as a cadre of concerned citizens make their numerous differing opinions known. Every story has two sides, except for some (like this one) which have something like seven sides. It's a classic she said, she said, she said, she said case!

DISRUPT SUPER-VILLAINY IN GOTHAM CITY! Hello. This is Harley Quinn. Today, I'm going to be announcing three exciting new products coming from DC. A new way to disrupt super-villains without getting your hands dirty, a hilarious comic about a super-cute clown girl who everyone is in love with, and a story about an angry industrialist whose portfolio value is through the roof. Three products. Disrupting super-villainy, a super cute clown girl, and an angry industrialist. Are you getting it? Is this making sense?! I'm talking about the new issue of my comic! It's all in there. Hello? Is this thing on? Does anyone even read these things?????

GUNS, JERKS, AND STEALS! Every so often a girl's gotta stretch her legs, leave her comfort zone, get mortally wounded, thrown into an RV, and driven across the country on an involuntary road trip (a.k.a. I've been kidnapped)! The Gunbuddies are back and they've taken yours truly on an action-packed jaunt to Coast City. Will we all become best budz forevah, or am I gonna crash their RV into a concrete wall? One thing's for sure: by the end of this issue zoo animals will be running wild through the streets!

THINGS HEAT UP (AND COOL DOWN) WITH FIRE AND ICE! All I wanted to do was get kidnapped and go on a nice little road trip! Okay, I didn’t want to do either of those things, but now that I have...I would really appreciate not getting beat up by Fire and Ice and then being thrown into a jail cell with the two jamokes who kidnapped me to begin with! I’m a free spirit, and I swear I’m gonna get outta here no matter what! That’s a Harley Quinn Promise!

D'OH MOST DANGEROUS GAME! Don’t shoot me, bro! Seriously, if someone tranqs, tases, or shoots me one more time, I’m quitting this whole main character in her own comic book series thing! My mandatory road trip with the Gunbuddies comes to an end in a jungle where we’re hunted for sport by a rich jerkwad! Plus, the return of one of my greatest enemies and the birth of an unexpected ally!

200 FAST 200 FURIOUS! Two hundred issues, baby! We did it--I’m a certified bicentennial woman! I’m making my triumphant return to Gotham in style--in an oversize clownstravaganza! And I’m bringing friends! No, I’m not talking about the Gunbuddies or Convoy (though they are here too)--my very first artists, Terry and Rachel Dodson, are making their triumphant return to help tell a story about what makes me me. Plus, the epic final battle between wrong and wrong as I face down the Deconspirator in a fight for the future of Throatcutter Hill!

AIR PIRATES AHOY! Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a Batplane! No, it's Colonel Blimp! Just when I thought I was done with ring-dings raining on my parade, a guy with a literal zeppelin shows up to rain on my figurative parade. It's an all-out battle in the sky! I'm gonna give this japlonsky a piece of my mind...or my bazooka!

THE DEATH OF ROMANCE! It’s finally time--Harley Quinn and Althea Klang go on a date...to the death! Honestly, I didn’t think I was gonna say yes to Althea, but then I got a ton of fan letters in the mail with your signatures on them demanding that I do it! You’re not gonna want to miss this outrageously spicy issue of Harley Quinn. And by spicy, I mean the food we’re going to eat!

I AM DA KNIFE! My body is full of DC K.O. energy! After the thrilling conclusion of our latest crossover, I’ve got a new lease on life--and it’s darker and grittier than ever! You know Batman? Well, you can call me Batquinn now! I’m like Batman, but I do things...a little differently! Bricks are gonna be flying tonight, baby!!!

QUITE SANE IN THE MEMBRANE! Okay, so I mayyyy have left a little something out of that last description. I ain't the only Quinn in town these days. Ya see, my rational, non-fun-loving brain parts have taken a body of their own, and she's claiming my doctorate as her own. You can't do that! I created Facebook! What do you mean she's wired in?! This is a real Dr. Jackass and Ms. Hyde situation, except we both got so tired of each other that we moved out and got our own bodies!

DON'T TOUCH THAT REMOTE! We got a real special show for you folks this month—you're gonna love it! I, the one and only true Harley Quinn, will be appearing for one night only on Throatcutter Hill's premier public-access TV station. Sure, the folks working there don't know it quite yet—but when I get there, I'm sure they'll see things my way and air my show! This is a real wacky one—we got so much formal experimentation in here that you'll be going Great Tom King's Ghost! by the end of the issue!

REIGN OF THE SUPER-COPS! Oy vey! I been facing off against my latest foe, the Monochromatic Man, and lemme tell ya something, this guy ain't messing around. He's turning my world into some kinda Dutch angle nightmare! But if that ain't bad enough, I got the whole dang GCPD after me too.

MEET THE HARLEY QUINN REVENGE SQUAD! It's me, Harley, versus my own greatest enemies of all time--the Harley Quinn Revenge Squad! They're so bad you couldn't find a hole deep enough to lock these folks away in! We've got the legally distinct hunter guy, the backward arms guy, the penny pincher, the corporate art security man, the tech bros, and the worst of the lot--the squad's shadowy leader! This one's so evil they’d make Lex Luthor's secret flower garden wilt with just one glare! One glare! Don't get me started on what'd happen with two!

IS THIS THE END OF BATQUINN?! Solicitation Harley here--you ain't gonna believe this! The shadowy secret leader of the Harley Quinn Revenge Squad? Well, it's none other than ****************! That's right, can you believe it?! *************! Not in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined that **************** would be behind it. Why, it's enough to make me say @&#$%! Ahhh! I'm so angry I could eat a table! I can't believe it! What the #$@%^! #$@#*^$&#%#$@%^#$@%^#@$%@#! (?_?)

CHAOS IN THROATCUTTER HILL! Ahh, finally time for a nice relaxing—what the heck?! I just got my life back to normal, and now the whole city is gettin' torn apart by prehistoric plants, poisonous pollen, and ahhh...dangit, I ran outta P words for alliteration, so uhhh...terrible treeoids? I got a bad feeling my one true love, Poison Ivy, is behind alla this. I guess I gotta get my butt down to City Hall stat!

HARLEY, GET YOUR GIRL! Hey look! 6-7!!! 6-7!!! 6-7!!! Eh? Ehhhh???? See, I can be hip! I got layers--I'm nuanced! Speaking of which, it's about time that I have a long overdue heart-to-heart with the love of my life, Poison Ivy. All that's standing between us is a city-sized jungle full of Swamp Thing's prehistoric cousins. Good thing I brought my trusty Harley-machete! Saddle up, buckeroo; I gotta get my Pammy, and you're coming with me!!